Dalrock, among others in the Manosphere or red pill area, have written on the subject many times before. They are responding to the phrase used by certain Trad Cons, “man up and marry the slut”. I respect Dalrock as one of the more thoughtful men of the manosphere and agree with his sentiments. But it is necessary still to say that I do not speak for Dalrock (obviously) and he may not agree with my views entirely.
Nevertheless this is a subject which calls forth my attention. Should Christian men commit to and actually marry women who have worked the “carousel”? Is not marrying these sluts, criteria for not having “manned up”? Hopefully none of the men or women reading my blog would answer yes to either of the above questions. There is no justifiable reason as to why a man should marry a slutty woman. He has the freedom to choose marriage or not, of course, but if a male friend of mine asked whether I thought it was a good idea to marry a slutty girl my answer would be without any doubt: absolutely not. They cannot make for good wives in the overwhelming majority of all cases.
One must first wonder why a slut would want to marry in the first place. The slutty girl is not likely going to make a good wife. With you she is basically settling before time runs out, because you offer high status, or her emotional drive for that short time. To convince yourself that there is really a good wife in that slut is to lie; a lie which could cost you your happiness, home, future children, and relationship with God. Perhaps the girl is beautiful, smart, and attractive, perhaps you love her, but that love is a serious mistake.
To be a wise Christian who wants to do the right thing requires having enough intelligence to distinguish between the good-time girls and the good-wife girls. Let me make this very clear. The good-time girl is not the good-wife girl, they are not the same. Understand? This is not to say the good-wife girl will be no fun, she would likely be a hundred times more fun but in a different way. The good-time girl is the one a man would not ordinarily take home to his mom. What makes modernity difficult for good Christian men is the good-wife girls are so few.
Today fornication has become so normalized that it is not seen as even slightly taboo, rather, not fornicating is the new taboo. With this normalization women did not accept it reluctantly but most accepted it enthusiastically. Even those women who want marriage still believe fornication to be a prerequisite for finding their future husband. Anyone showing the slightest hesitation towards this view is barraged with attacks most have no answer for. “How do you know you love him without sex?” or “What if the sex is bad and you are already married?” Those are straw man arguments.
We single Christian men are being told to completely forgive a woman her past. Not only should individual men do this, but all Christian men should. She can never be held accountable for her actions; at least not by men. Who are we to deny her happiness, her dreams? Her years spent on her back should not be relevant. What is relevant is that she wants her happiness now and you are bad for denying it to her. But while we should hold her accountable you are also to be held accountable. Why would you take a slutty girl seriously?
Once she accepted slut into her life, keep her out of yours. It is rare for a slut to truly reform so I would not even take the chance. Think of it this way: Once a slut, always a slut. Do you really want your kids coming out the same place 10 other men have gone into? Would you really want to kiss the girl who has gone down on enough men to fill a football roster? I doubt you would. And, my friends, being with a girl in a “long-term relationship” is not good enough to justify sexual relations.
“But doesn’t that pretty much rule out about 85% of women or so?” Well, unfortunately it does. I wish there was a better answer but there is not. But answer me this, is it worse to be celibate for the rest of your life or marry a feminist harpy who nags you for years before divorcing you, taking your kids, and throwing you out of your house? Do not settle for sluts, if they have such little respect for themselves imagine how little respect they will have for you. Manning up does not mean settling for a hopeless graying slut.
An INTJ Radical Traditionalist
Hear, hear!
I think that when Dalrock says “man up and marry those sluts”, he is being sarcastic.
I know he was.
Do any “Trad Cons” actually say this? The thing that irritates me about the manosphere is that, in their constant attacks on “TradCons” and “SoCons”, they’re always attributing beliefs to us that we don’t hold.
Oh, sorry then. I thought you took his snark seriously.
God bless.
I suspect they may confuse “TradCons” and Reactionaries. By TradCons they probably mean Conservative Christians but not Reactionaries. It is like blurring the distinction between the typical Southern Baptist and a Traditional Catholic. My argument on the matter remains the same regardless of who says it.
Some people inside our churches do shame men for are the sole responsibility of women.
“Anyone showing the slightest hesitation towards this view is barraged with attacks most have no answer for. “How do you know you love him without sex?” or “What if the sex is bad and you are already married?” [**]Those are straw man arguments.[**]”
Surprisingly lucid self-criticism or hilarious mistake?
I stumbled on this from across the web. I’m not your normal readership, so I’m puzzled by some of the assumptions here.
Could you explain in what ways marrying a “slut” would be worse than marrying a “good girl”? The closest you come is:
> Do you really want your kids coming out the same place 10 other men have gone into? Would you really want to kiss the girl who has gone down on enough men to fill a football roster? I doubt you would.
But these are only conceptual problems; they matter only to the extent that you make them matter. The other thing you say is:
> But answer me this, is it worse to be celibate for the rest of your life or marry a feminist harpy who nags you for years before divorcing you, taking your kids, and throwing you out of your house?
Well, if it’s actually true that a “slut” is likely to do this, then nobody would claim that marrying a “slut” makes good sense! So the only question is about how true it is…Which you say nothing much in support of.
None should marry a slut…
You have to cherish and love her till death, seems hardly to be compatible with considering her a slut to begin with
Seeing it from the other side: no woman in her right mind would marry someone that consider her a slut, so you are either marrying someone not in her right mind (obviously not advisable) or you have to lie for the rest of your life to make her believe that you do not in fact consider her a slut – pretty hard.